3 Things You Won’t See Me Post on Facebook

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I’ve put a lot of things on Facebook. Some of them have been interesting or funny and some have been total duds that have only drawn interest from myself and my mother. She thinks I’m pretty cool.

Facebook is constantly evolving and in much the same manner I’ve also evolved. There are certain things I would never post on Facebook. I’m not talking about the obvious things like my credit card number (you won’t fool me again Nigerian prince) or my where abouts every second of every day (have to make my stalker work), I’m talking about the annoying things that make you want to defriend someone.

Here are 3 things you won’t see me post on Facebook.

1. Countdowns

We’ve all got that friend on Facebook who insists on counting down how many days are left until something spectacular happens in their life. It could be how many days before they go on a trip or it could be how many days until their favorite show is back and don’t forget the ultimate, how many days until a loved one is home.

I was considering writing an entire post dedicated to what I felt were dumb Facebook countdowns, but the only thing I could think to write about each of them was that no one else cares.

Maybe that’s a bit harsh, the loved one that you’re counting down the days until they return might care. Although you probably started your countdown and posted it while they were still in the driveway.

2. Like For a TBH

If I’m soliciting my “friends” (I’m using this term loosely because I really only know half, at best, of the people I’m friends with on Facebook) to “like” my post in return for an honest response about my personal feelings towards them, do you really think that I’m the type of person that is of the sound moral character to actually be honest with you?

My personal favorites are the ones that go like this. “TBH I haven’t seen you in like forever, we should really get together soon and just chill like we used to. Your (notice the grammar) pretty cool and Zach’s little brother.”

Alright, let’s be honest, I’m doing this later and you’re all getting sarcastic responses back.

3. How Much I Secretly Love Someone

Maybe you think it’s romantic or charming to steal the lyrics from a song and post them hoping for that special someone to see them and to instinctively know that you’re talking about them. If the stolen lyrics aren’t enough make sure you add a couple of lines of your own and a string of emoticons and you’re certain to get their attention.

If you’re a girl and you post things like this you probably have eight or more guys thinking that they have a shot with you and that you finally noticed them, when in reality the guy that you posted it for is out living his real life (or busy writing his blog), not watching Facebook for signs of interest from a girl.

If you’re a guy and you post things like this your grandmother has likely read it and has a warm fuzzy feeling in her heart because of how much you love her and because you want everyone to know it. Unless you stole the lyrics from a rap song, in that case she has some follow up questions. As for the girl you want to see it, she’s probably too busy posting “selfies” on Instagram.

What would you never post on Facebook?

 

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