9 Things You Don’t Want To Hear During Surgery

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In an earlier post I discussed “7 Things I Don’t Want To Hear From A Doctor“. This post is more of a niche specific post listing “9 Things You Don’t Want To Hear During Surgery”. You’re vulnerable on their table, under anesthesia, but sometimes you can still hear what’s happening and you have no way to stop it.

These are things that you don’t want to hear.

1. My liability insurance premiums are paid up right? – We all love paying insurance! It’s protects us when we mess up. I can’t imagine how much a surgeon pays for liability insurance, but if they’re worried about not having paid it I don’t want to have them working on me.

2. Better save that, we’ll need it for the autopsy – Extra parts are never a good thing, but it’s always a good idea to keep them just in case you figure out where they belong.

3. If I know Tim as well as I think I do, he won’t mind me… – I don’t know any surgeons, so I had better not be hearing these words coming out of anyone’s mouth during surgery. No matter what the ending of the sentence is.

4. If this is his liver, that should be his spleen – There are manuals available for everything. If you’re not sure where something is by the time the surgery starts at least take the time to look it up instead of just guessing.

5. Good thing he has two of those – Kidneys, eyes, ears, hands, feet. There are a number of body parts that we have two of, any of which we could survive without, but I’ll keep both of them where ever possible.

6. Has anyone ever survived 10cc’s of this? – Whether it is a measuring mistake or just out of curiosity being a guinea pig for how much of a drug someone can handle is not something I want to be.

7. Shouldn’t have had that burrito for lunch – Don’t want a gassy surgeon or one with a churning stomach from their lunch. Who knows what that could lead to.

8. Five second rule! – I’m not sure this should be a thing for food. It shouldn’t be a thing in a sterile environment.

9. I saw this on the Discovery Channel – A well educated surgeon should also be a well rounded person who has interests and knowledge outside of their specialty. Knowledge of their specialty should not be coming from a widely available television show. If that’s the case we all could be surgeons.

What is something you don’t want to hear during surgery?



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