Questions You Should Never Ask A Police Officer

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I haven’t had too many run ins with “Johnny Law” in my relatively short life span, but have enough experience that I believe I have a pretty good idea of some things that you shouldn’t say to a police officer.

Here are my ideas.

1. Do you think you could move you seat ahead a bit?

The back seat of a police car is not very spacious. They’re not meant to be. Asking a police officer to move their seat ahead a bit so that you can have a little more leg room might be asking too much. Unless you are sitting behind the passenger seat. Then it’s OK. Give it a shot.

2. Did you know that the “Hot Now” sign is on at Krispy Kreme?

We all know that police officers love donuts. We’ve all seen the videos of cruisers flying up to donut shops when a colleague radioed to them that there were fresh donuts. If it’s in a video it must happen in real life too. It’s just logic. It’s not something they talk about with a potential perp though, so not a good idea to ask about it.

3. Non-alcoholic beer is alright isn’t it?

We all know that drinking and driving is wrong, but where does non-alcoholic beer fall in the scope of drinking and driving? My understanding is that because it has a 0.5% alcohol content that it is still illegal to consume while driving, but there does seem to be a bit of a grey area. There may be a good time to ask your local police officer for further clarification on this, but under most circumstances it isn’t a good idea.

4. Is this license drawn with crayon valid?

When you get pulled over for a traffic infraction it’s usually not a great idea to test the patience of the police officer who has pulled you over. If you don’t have a license or if you just don’t have your license with you, I wouldn’t suggest offering the officer a “temporary” license that you manufactured yourself.

5. Where are the rest of the Village People?

They may have had a couple of hits (YMCA and In The Navy?), but the police officer is only one of a mosaic of characters in the group. That being said they were only a group of performers, talented in their own way, but far less trained in the art of policing. Asking a police officer where the rest of the Village People are might be seen as a challenge to their authority.

What do you think you should never ask a police officer?



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