5 Things I Wouldn’t Put on My Car

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To a lot of people their car is their most prized possession and so they want to make it their own.  I get it.  Everyone has their own taste and it’s their right, but people put a lot of stupid stuff on their cars.  I drove a minivan for a couple of years and there was no way I wanted to draw extra attention to myself in it.

Here are 5 things I wouldn’t put on my car.

1. Stick Families – So you want to tell the world about your family, but what’s the best way to do it?  I know!  You should buy stick figures and put them in the window of your minivan.  Make sure you get Mom and Dad, all three kids, the dog, the cat, the bird, your plumber, your banker and don’t forget your podiatrist.  An exception would be a single guy holding a bag of money, I think that’s cool.

2. Personalized Plates – I’ve been on the fence about personalized plates for a long time.  On one hand they portray power and success, on the other hand a lot of douche bags have them.  As nice as it is to know to stay away from “PMS24-7” what’s the point of having a plate that says “VIAGRA” on your red Corvette?

3. Le Bra – The Car Bra – In the 90’s these seemed to be popular.  “Protect your car from dirt and road grime” their website says.  But who’s going to protect you from the teenagers relentlessly berating you with insults when you drive up in your 1985 Dodge Daytona with a Le Bra and window louvers in the back?

4. Rear Spoiler – I’m not talking about the stock spoiler that comes on many models of cars.  I’m talking about the wings that people put on their trunks.  The ones that are four feet high and are supposed to give them better down pressure at high speeds, but they’ve never really got to try it out because they’re driving a Plymouth Breeze and it has a hard time getting up to highway speeds by itself, let alone dragging a four foot wing along with it.

5. Decals – Some cars look really good with racing stripes.  No car looks good with the words “Look Good Go Fast” and “Breeze Right By You” plastered on their window.  Especially when it’s a Plymouth Breeze.  Yes, it’s the same car with the spoiler.  It belonged to a friend.  I’m glad he got rid of it.  One of our local courier drivers knew him and when he would walk into my office he would yell “Look good, go fast!”

I’ve got other things for this list, so watch for a second post.  If you have any ideas put them in the comments below.

What wouldn’t you put on your car?

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